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its been a while since ive updated.   
06:46pm 08/11/2007

so last night caili spent the night and we dyed my hair. blonde and red. it looks pretty rediculous. im still deciding if i like it. Tom likes it so i guess that all that matters. Im kinda sad cuz i dont get to see him tomorrow like at all. that will probably be the longest amout of time we've spent away from each other for like nine months. (other than the beach trip. it was a long 4 days. we made up for it by going to flordia for 2 weeks.)  We also dyed jude red.  (our kitten) on his ears and tail....and body. he doesnt mind tho.) Nobodys gonna read this but i dont care. i hardly ever do posts. I start delivering pizzas tommorrow. hope i like it. toms afraid ill get raped. i hope not. that would suck. i wonder how donatos will feel about my hair. gtg. supper is ready.

A walking open wound
10:05am 29/04/2007
  I guess ill make a post i have nothing better to do.
This weekend has been sorta boring. the parties werent wild like usual, probably cuz everything is coming to an end soon and we all know it. we coukld party at lukes but it wont be the same.
Prom was last weekend. it was fun. i looked pretty. we ate at jills before prom and then we only stayed there for about 45 minutes cuz we all kinda just got bored. im sad i didnt see carissa tho. im tired and off to church.
A walking open wound
09:31pm 11/04/2007
  I wanna go back to flordia and stay and that sleazy hotel room and listen to luke leave the door open while he pisses. that road trip was amazing and i dont really wanna come back yet.  
A walking open wound
Boy you know it feels good with fire back on your tounge.   
04:22pm 19/03/2007

Im really really tired. alot. i just would like to stay home one day and sleep. like all day.
I really hate the weather and i really really hate going to school and i hate that my eye is hurtting really bad for no aparent reason. I dont wanna go to work. i make no money there. at all. i might apply at bob evans again. i worked there for a year and it would be kinda cool to go back there. i guess.
But im acaully amazingly happy right now. everything is working out perfectly. i just cant wait til schools out. then i wont mind going to work.  I feel really rejuvinated lately. like im soo done dealing with peoples problems and shit. i dont care that you hate me. really you could hate me until the day you die and i wont care. im so consumed by my friends lately that i dont even think about anyone else. at all. ever. and its nice not being involved in everyones drama. i dont know how i put up with everyones shit as long as i have but im pretty much done. ill listen to people when they need to talk but im not however gonna be very very immature and fight about things and hold a grudge when it doesnt make a difference. im happy. im fucking exstatic right now and no one is gonna ruin the for me.
i have to go to the BMV this weekend. umm yay? i hate waiting in line there. it takes fore-e-ever.
hmmm whatelse....I havent updated in a while so i doubt anyone will read this. and i dont really care if anyone does. i dont read other peoples el jays cuz most of them consist of people feeling sorry for themselves and they write about it because they want even more pity. no one really cares what anyone else really says on here. i sure as hell dont.

A walking open wound
04:26pm 10/03/2007

I love days like these, when you wake up early and just do apsolutly nothing with your favorite people all day.
expecally when the weathers amazing.

2 trophey display of bruises| A walking open wound
there jill.   
03:40pm 04/03/2007
  my phone sucks and its completely stopped working.  
1 trophey display of bruises| A walking open wound
09:40pm 25/02/2007
  im happier than ive ever been  
2 trophey display of bruises| A walking open wound
09:45pm 11/02/2007
  i kinda wish things didnt have to end up like this.  
A walking open wound
10:11am 03/02/2007
  someone please fucking tell me why i am still putting up with this shit?  
1 trophey display of bruises| A walking open wound
08:34pm 26/01/2007
  i hate when my car breaks down and everyone in the fucking world is doing something so i have to call my mommy.
i really cant stand when my cars kinda fucked up but no one cares enough to not make me their goddamn taxi. you know ginger will only blow up on me and ill die...a ride to where you wanna go is sooo worth that.
im gonna get one of those time/miles things so when i drive people places ill get paid for it.
I really fucking hate emotional people who are fucking crazy. i hate people who make up enough drama to have their own soap opra. i hate when people fucking over react to everything. i hate that i havent vented like this in forever.  
I hate when im trying to type a godamn livejournal entry and pop ups block the screen.
I wanted it to be a very good day. so far its...sucked. alot.
The only thing i dont really hate right now is...caili. and the buttons we made...and the wax art we made.
IM FUCKING DONE WITH DEALING WITH ANYTHING THAT APPLYS TO ANY OF THESE CATAGORYS. ( The only thing i will add to this list from this point on is: if someone makes me hate them even more, then ill add "I hate that im going to jail for murdering someone.")

K. im done.
3 trophey display of bruises| A walking open wound
10:26pm 09/01/2007
  you got my hand shaking,
I'm begging you oh baby please stop breaking
my heart because I got the feeling
that you and I will never really get it on.

A walking open wound
I fucking hate you.   
10:35pm 04/01/2007
  and i fucking hate how you deny everything...
I guess i was right to believe i never ment anything to you.
And you wondered why i couldnt trust you...this is why. FUCK YOU. 
8 trophey display of bruises| A walking open wound
09:07am 30/12/2006
  "Times square cant shine as bright as you."

Im going to new york.

1 trophey display of bruises| A walking open wound
11:56pm 08/11/2006
  im scared.
but im sure that will change in time. it will be really weird at first but eventally it will get better. everything takes time..and im not really going anywhere soo ill just sit out the storm
some things are just not ment to be. so maybe we shouldnt force them. Everything always just works itself out. soon enough anyway. i just have to have patients.
Im pretty strong and i can handle it. i have faith in myself and thats all that i really ever needed. I dont need someone to talk to. really im okay with keeping things in. Ive been doing okay with it so far.
Life will go on. and im pretty sure im done with all this teenage drama. i hate it so why would i try and feed it...
1 trophey display of bruises| A walking open wound
i love the beachboys.   
07:36pm 05/11/2006
  I may not always love you
But long as there are stars above you
You never need to doubt it
I'll make you so sure about it

God only knows what I'd be without you

If you should ever leave me
Though life would still go on believe me
The world could show nothing to me
So what good would living do me

God only knows what I'd be without you

God only knows what I'd be without you
A walking open wound
Alright im done.   
11:08pm 31/10/2006
  Im sorry. but im sooo sick of everyone trying to control me when its not their life to take control of.
Im gonna do what i want to do. im sorry if you dont like it but this is how its gonna be. deal with it.
Last time i checked this was my life. and last time i checked im free to do whatever i want with it. so if you dont like it thats too bad...
PLEASE stop trying to tell me to stop making the choices i make when they are mine to make.
Its like telling me which air i can and cant breathe and im sick of it.
Im sick of being smothered and being told how to live my life. and im done trying to pretend im gonna live up to everyone expectations. im done.
1 trophey display of bruises| A walking open wound
me and kayla are amazing. and get bored.   
06:24pm 28/10/2006
  Rodoff the RED white and blue all the funny things you do america AMERICAn women walking down THE STREET up where they talk up where they walk up where they stay all day in THE SUN will come out tomorrow bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there'll be sun WEll i walked around the corner i walked around the street i walked right into a dounut shop i picked up a dounut fresh from the GREASE lighting! BETTER shape up cuz i need a MAN i feel like a SUGAR Sugar oh hunny hunny you are my candy GIRLs just wanna have fun ooh girls just wanna have fun. They just wanna they just wanna OPEN your heart to me BABY im so into you youve got that something what should i do..Oh baby you spin me AROUND and around and around never want to come back DOWN to georgia he was looking for a soul to steal he was in a bind cuz he was way behind and looking to make a deal. WHEN the moon hits your eye like a big pizzapie thats la more when the world seems to shine like youve had to much whine THATS what you call a getaway tell me what you got away with cuz ive seen more spine in jelly fish ive seen more guts in 11 year old kids so have another drink and drive yourself HOME is a two letter word m I cant take my eyes off of you youd be like heave to touch i wanna hold you so much at long last LOVE love will keep us together think of me babe whenever. some sweet talkin girl comes along just singing her song...dont mess around youve just gotta be strong just STOP in the name of love before you break my heart.  
A walking open wound
11:01pm 26/10/2006
  I've been here before a few times
and I'm quite aware we're dying
and your hands, they shake the goodbyes
and I'll take you back if you have me

So here I am, I'm trying
so here I am, are you ready?
come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you, always
kiss you, taste you, all night, always

And I'll miss your laugh, your smile
I'll admit I'm wrong if you tell me
I'm so sick of fights, I hate them
let's start this again for real

So here I am, I'm trying
so here I am, are you ready?
so here I am, I'm trying
so here I am, are you ready?

Come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you, always
kiss you, taste you, all night, always
come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you, always
kiss you, taste you, all night, always

I've been here before a few times
and I'm quite aware we're dying

Come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you, always
kiss you, taste you, all night, always
come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you, always
kiss you, taste you, all night, always

Always, always
A walking open wound
10:18pm 22/10/2006
  do you know what i hate? more than anything...
People who add their opionion where its not wanted.
What you dont have enough things going on in your life so you have to live off of other peoples drama. Thats fucking pathetic.
I hate you people. I really do. I just dont understand why they always have to be involved in the lives of people who really fucking hate them. Are things really that bad off or boring that they thrive on the drama of others? I mean C'mon GROW THE FUCK UP!!!
If i wanted you to know anything that is happening in my life, i would.
But i dont because i hate you. Please, please, please take all of this to heart.
A walking open wound
06:28pm 20/10/2006
  Are we moving back in time? because the maturity in this is missing.

You used to say, "im open about my feelings" Well, if im so secluded then why was i able to tell you what i was thinking before you did?

The reasons you do things make no sence what so ever to anyone but you.

And im sooo sick of your little games and tests. Really i should not have to put up with this..and im glad im not anymore.

If your friends told you to jump off a bridge would you? Probably.

and im done with dealing with this. if you dont like me or love me, fine but you could have enough balls and just break up with me i mean honestly. dont skate around it. do it..im strong and i think i can handle a little teenage drama.

Goodbye. It was a good ride.

And you know what...youve become so obsessed and synical its pathetic.
2 trophey display of bruises| A walking open wound